A Free HER Alternative for LGBTQ+ Women, Queer and Non-Binary People
TL;DR
Souldaters suits LGBTQ+ women, queer and non-binary people who want a completely free app where chat only opens after a mutual match, with queer tribes alongside values like vegan, sober or spiritual, and a friends mode. HER remains an excellent choice if you want a space built exclusively for LGBTQ+ women and queer people, with a large, established community and its own events and content.
Feature comparison
| Feature | Souldaters | HER |
|---|---|---|
| Who it is for | Everyone, with LGBTQ+, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and asexual tribes | Built specifically for LGBTQ+ women and queer people |
| Price | 100% free, no paid tier | Free basic version; paid premium adds features |
| Messaging | Only after a mutual match | After a match (details vary) |
| Identity options | Woman/man/non-binary, custom label, trans flag, pronouns, orientation | Wide range of gender identities, sexualities and pronouns |
| Community features | Tribes with public pages and discussion boards | Community feeds, groups and events (varies by location) |
| Values & lifestyle filters | Free (vegan, sober, non-smoker, want kids, sharing a tribe…) | Filters available; some in premium |
| Friends mode | Built in: dating, friends or both | Can be used for friendship and community |
| Community size | New (launched 2026), growing | Large, established queer community |
Competitor features and pricing change often; check HER's own site for current details.
Why look for a HER alternative?
HER is one of the best-known apps made for LGBTQ+ women and queer people, and for many it is the first place they go to date and find community. It was created by and for queer women, and that intention shows. People look for alternatives, or additions, for a few reasons: they want all features free; they want to match on specific values alongside identity, such as veganism, sobriety or spirituality; they want a stricter rule that nobody can message them until they have liked back; or they live somewhere with a smaller local community and want another place to meet people.
What does HER do well?
- A space built for queer women and non-binary people. Being designed for the community matters, and it shapes the whole experience.
- Inclusive identity options. HER offers a broad range of gender identities, sexualities and pronouns.
- Community beyond dating. Feeds, groups and events (depending on location) help people find friends and connection.
- An established community in many cities worldwide.
If you want a space centered entirely on LGBTQ+ women and queer people, HER is a great place to be.
How is Souldaters different?
Inclusive by design, for everyone
Souldaters is not an LGBTQ+-only app; it is built to welcome all kinds of people and to let everyone find their own communities within it. Profiles include woman, man or non-binary, an optional custom gender label, an optional trans flag, pronouns and orientation. There are curated tribes for LGBTQ+, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and asexual members, and anyone can create a more specific tribe, for example a queer book club or a city-based queer hiking group.
Mutual match before any message
Nobody can message you unless you have both liked each other. Likes are private, and unmatch or block closes a chat permanently. Every profile and post has block and report, and reports go to a human moderator. Profiles are only visible to logged-in members and are not indexed by search engines, which matters for people who are not out everywhere in their lives. See our safety page.
Identity plus values
Shared tribes, interests, diet, goals, lifestyle and distance feed a soul-match compatibility percentage with readable reasons. So a queer vegan can find other queer vegans, and a sober lesbian can filter for sober or non-drinking women. Free hard filters include only vegans, vegans and vegetarians, non-smokers, sober or non-drinkers, no-makeup or minimal-makeup, people who exercise often, only verified, only people sharing a tribe, and want or don't want kids.
Friends mode
Choose dating, friends only, or both. Finding queer friends can be as important as finding a partner, especially after a move or coming out. Friend matches need a mutual wave first.
Completely free
No premium tier, no paywall, no boosts. Every feature, including seeing who liked you, is free.
How do I make sure I only see the people I want?
Set your gender, orientation and who you are looking for on your profile, and Discover shows you people who fit. If you want an even more focused feed, join the LGBTQ+ or lesbian tribe and turn on "only people sharing a tribe". That combination is a simple way to build a queer-centered experience within Souldaters. Our LGBTQ+ dating guide has more tips on profiles, safety and first dates.
Beyond identity, queer people are as varied as anyone else. You might also be a runner, a gardener, a single parent or someone who has not had a drink in years. Adding those tribes gives people more to connect with and often leads to warmer first conversations than identity alone.
What are the trade-offs?
HER is a dedicated queer space with a large, established community, native apps and community events in some locations. Souldaters is a general, inclusive app that launched in 2026, so its queer community is still growing and may be small in some cities for now. It is an installable web app today, with native iOS and Android apps coming. If being in a space made only for LGBTQ+ women and queer people is what matters most, HER is the natural choice.
Features and pricing of other apps change often; check their site for current details.
Who is each best for?
- Souldaters: LGBTQ+ women, queer and non-binary people who want a free app, strict mutual matching, identity plus values filters (vegan, sober, spiritual and more), and friends mode; people who also like being part of wider interest tribes.
- HER: people who want an app built exclusively for LGBTQ+ women and queer people, with a large community and events.
Many people use both: HER for its dedicated community, Souldaters for values-based matching and free features.
How to get started
- Sign up free, then add your gender, pronouns and orientation in your own words.
- Choose dating, friends or both.
- Join LGBTQ+ tribes that fit you, plus a few for your lifestyle and hobbies.
- Answer three prompts with specifics that invite conversation.
- Consider turning on "only people sharing a tribe" and "only verified" for a focused, safer feed.
Frequently asked questions
What is a free alternative to the HER app?
Souldaters is a completely free, inclusive option with LGBTQ+, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and asexual tribes, a friends mode, and chat only after a mutual match. OkCupid is another inclusive option with a free version.
Is Souldaters LGBTQ+ friendly?
Yes. Profiles support woman, man or non-binary, a custom gender label, a trans flag, pronouns and orientation, and there are curated LGBTQ+ tribes. Anyone can create more specific queer tribes.
Are Souldaters profiles visible to the public?
No. Profiles are only visible to logged-in members and are not indexed by Google. Tribe pages are public, but individual profiles are not.
Can I use Souldaters to find queer friends?
Yes. Choose friends only or both, join LGBTQ+ tribes, and connect with a mutual wave before chatting.