How long does it take to make friends in a new city?

It varies, but most people need several months of consistent effort to build a small circle, and often a year or more before a place feels like home. The timeline shortens if you join recurring activities early, say yes to invitations and take initiative with the people you click with. Do not judge your progress by the first few weeks.

What is the best way to meet people after moving somewhere alone?

Combine three things: one recurring hobby group that meets weekly, one regular spot such as a cafe or gym where you become a familiar face, and one online community or friend-finding app for your interests. That mix gives you both repeated contact and a way to filter for people you are likely to click with.

Is it weird to use an app to find friends?

Not at all. Friend-finding apps and interest communities are a normal way to meet people, especially after a move when your routine does not yet include many new faces. Everyone using them is openly looking for connection, which removes much of the awkwardness. Just move from chatting to a public, low-key meetup reasonably quickly.

How do I make friends in a new city as an introvert?

Choose structured, activity-based settings where conversation is optional, such as a book club, a walking group, a class or volunteering. Aim for one-on-one follow-ups rather than big parties. Give yourself permission to leave events early and to recharge. A small number of deeper connections is a perfectly good goal.

Should I only hang out with other expats when I move abroad?

Expat groups are a great first step because everyone understands the experience and is keen to connect. But mixing in local activities, language exchanges and clubs will help you learn the culture, practice the language and build a more rooted life. Many people find a blend of both works best.

How to Make Friends in a New City: A 90-Day Plan

The fastest way to make friends in a new city is to build a routine that puts you in front of the same people every week, then take the initiative to turn those familiar faces into plans. Pick one recurring group, become a regular somewhere, and join one online community tied to your interests. Friendships follow repetition far more reliably than they follow luck.

Moving somewhere new is exciting and, for many people, surprisingly lonely. Your old friends are a time zone or a train ride away, your weekends suddenly feel wide open, and nobody at the supermarket knows your name. This guide gives you a practical plan for the first 90 days and beyond.

Why is making friends after a move so hard?

When you relocate, you lose the invisible scaffolding that held your social life together: the colleague you had lunch with, the neighbor who waved, the friend who always organized birthday dinners. In a new city you have to rebuild all of it on purpose.

The good news is that new arrivals have an advantage: you have time, curiosity and a legitimate reason to ask for help. "I just moved here, where do people go for good coffee?" is one of the easiest conversation starters there is. Use it while it is true.

What should I do in my first week?

Before you worry about close friends, focus on feeling at home. That groundwork makes everything else easier.

Walk your neighborhood. Find your nearest park, cafe, library, gym and market. These become your repeat locations.
Pick a "third place". Choose one cafe, bakery or bar and go at the same time a few times a week. Staff and fellow regulars start to recognize you.
Introduce yourself to neighbors. A quick hello in the stairwell or over the fence is the start of local connection.
Tell your network you moved. Post that you have arrived and ask, "Does anyone know people in this city?" Friend-of-friend introductions are often the warmest.

Where do people meet friends in a new city?

Look for places where the same people gather regularly. Here are the most reliable options, roughly in order of how well they build lasting friendships:

Recurring hobby groups. Running clubs, climbing gyms, choirs, language exchanges, pottery classes, community gardens. Weekly contact plus a built-in topic.
Volunteering. Food banks, animal shelters, park clean-ups and mentoring programs attract people with shared values, and regular shifts mean repeated contact.
Sports and rec leagues. Team sports come with automatic post-game socializing.
Faith or spiritual communities. Congregations, meditation centers and yoga studios often have social events designed to welcome newcomers.
Work and coworking. Say yes to after-work drinks or lunches, especially early on. If you work remotely, a coworking space or a regular laptop cafe can replace the office.
Expat and newcomer groups. Everyone is in the same position, so people are unusually open.
Friend-finding apps and interest communities. Useful for filtering by shared interests before you meet.

If you are specifically trying to find someone to do things with, such as a climbing buddy or a running partner, our guide on how to find an activity partner goes into detail.

How can apps help you make friends after moving?

Apps solve the hardest early problem: you do not know where people are or who is open to new friendships. On a friend-focused app, everyone has already signaled they want to meet people, which removes a lot of guesswork.

A few tips to make them work:

Say you are new in your profile. "Just moved from Glasgow, looking for hiking and brunch friends" gives people an easy opening.
Be specific about interests. "I like music" gets nothing. "I go to small jazz gigs and want company" gets replies.
Suggest meeting within a few days of chatting. Long chats tend to fizzle.
Meet in public, busy places. A cafe, a park, a market. Tell someone where you are going.

On Souldaters you can choose Friends mode and set your intent to "friends only", then filter by city and by tribe, so you can find, say, other expats or hikers nearby. Nobody can message until both people have waved, so every chat starts with mutual interest. We also have city pages, such as Berlin, that give you a feel for local communities. For a fair comparison of the options, read the best apps to find friends.

A 90-day plan for making friends in a new city

Phase	Focus	Concrete actions
Days 1–14	Orientation	Find your third place, meet neighbors, post that you have moved, research two recurring groups
Days 15–30	Exposure	Attend each group twice, join one or two online interest communities, accept every reasonable invitation
Days 31–60	Selection	Notice who you click with, suggest a coffee or walk with two people, drop activities you dislike
Days 61–90	Deepening	Make repeat plans with the same people, host something small (a picnic, a games night), introduce people to each other

Hosting is underrated. Inviting four people you have met separately to a casual picnic turns you into a connector, and connectors tend to end up at the center of social circles.

How do you turn a new acquaintance into a friend?

The move from "nice to chat with" to "friend" usually needs one person to make a specific invitation. Try:

"I'm still exploring the city. Want to check out the Sunday flea market with me?"
"There's a free outdoor film on Friday. Fancy coming along?"
"I've heard the coastal path is beautiful. Would you want to walk it one weekend?"

Being new makes these invitations feel natural. You are exploring, and inviting someone to explore with you is flattering, not needy. Then follow up within a week or two. The second hangout matters more than the first. For more on this, see our main guide to making friends as an adult.

What should I say when I meet people as a newcomer?

Being new is a conversational gift. People like being asked for local knowledge, and it gives you an easy way to keep talking. A few openers that work almost anywhere:

"I just moved here. What's one place I absolutely have to try?"
"How long have you been coming to this class? Is it always this friendly?"
"Which neighborhood do you live in? I'm still figuring out where everything is."
"Is there anything you wish you had known when you first arrived?"

Listen for hooks you can turn into plans. If someone raves about a hiking trail or a Sunday market, that is your invitation waiting to happen: "That sounds great. Would you show me sometime?" Remember names, and use them the next time you see the person. Being the newcomer who remembers details is a quick way to become someone people are glad to see. And be generous in return: once you have found a good bakery or a great running route, share it with the next new arrival you meet.

How long does it take to feel settled?

Most people need several months before they have a small circle they can rely on, and a year or more before a city truly feels like home. Expect a dip: the excitement of arrival often fades after a few weeks, and loneliness can peak before friendships have had time to form. That is normal and usually temporary.

What helps during the lonely stretch?

Keep your old friendships warm. Scheduled calls with people back home give you emotional ballast.
Keep routines even when you do not feel like it. Skipping the club when you feel low makes the next visit harder.
Be kind to yourself. One quiet weekend is not a verdict on your social life.
Reach out for support. If loneliness becomes heavy or persistent, talk to a doctor, counselor or support line in your new country.

Special situations

Moving abroad

Language classes are doubly useful: they help you settle and they fill a room with people in exactly your situation. Try to mix expat groups with local activities so you do not end up living in a bubble. Language exchanges, where you swap your native language for theirs, are one of the best ways to meet locals.

Moving with a partner or kids

Couples can fall into only socializing with each other. Make sure each of you has at least one independent activity. Parents often find the school gate, playgroups and kids' sports are natural meeting points; the single parents tribe can also help if you are parenting solo.

Remote workers

Without an office, your social life depends entirely on what you build. A coworking space, a regular class and a weekly social commitment are close to essential.

The bottom line

A new city does not come with friends pre-installed, but it does come with a fresh start. Build a routine, become a regular, join something that meets weekly, and be the person who suggests the plan. If you want an easy way to find people who share your interests, you can create a free Souldaters profile, switch on Friends mode and join a few tribes in your new home. Give it a few months, and the city that once felt anonymous starts to feel like yours.

How to Make Friends in a New City