How often should you talk in a long-distance relationship?

There is no ideal number. Agree on a rhythm that feels connecting, not obligatory, such as small daily messages, two or three video calls a week, and a weekly virtual date. Adjust it when life gets busy, and share the inconvenience of time zones. What matters most is consistency and quality, not the number of hours spent talking.

How do you keep a long-distance relationship exciting?

Plan shared experiences: watch films together, cook the same recipe on video, play online games, read the same book, take a class together, or send surprise letters and care packages. Always have the next visit planned, and during visits mix special outings with ordinary life so you get to know how you function day to day.

How can I tell if my long-distance partner is a scammer?

Warning signs include avoiding video calls, stories that change, declaring intense love very quickly, claiming to work abroad or on a ship or oil rig, and any request for money, gift cards or crypto, often for travel costs or emergencies. Never send money to someone you have not met in person, and report suspicious profiles to the platform.

When should you close the distance?

When you both feel secure in the relationship, have spent meaningful time together in person, including ordinary days, and have a practical plan for work, housing and legal requirements. Discuss who will move and what they will give up, and make sure the person relocating can build their own social life, work and support network.

Long-Distance Relationships: How to Make Them Work

Q: Do long-distance relationships work?

Yes, many do. Success depends less on the distance than on commitment, good communication, trust and a shared plan to eventually live in the same place. Couples who have a rough timeline, visit regularly, and agree on how often to talk tend to cope best. Relationships without any end goal are more likely to drift or become frustrating.

Long-distance relationships can absolutely work, and many couples look back on their distance years as the time they learned to communicate. The couples who make it usually share three things: a realistic plan to eventually live in the same place, a communication rhythm that feels good to both people, and a foundation of trust built through consistency. Distance tests a relationship; it does not doom it.

This guide covers how to structure communication, build trust, plan visits, keep romance alive with virtual dates, handle money, decide when and how to close the distance, and recognize when it is time to let go. It also covers a situation that has become common: starting a relationship with someone you met online who lives far away.

Do long-distance relationships work?

They can, and the key predictor is not the distance itself but whether both partners are committed, communicate well, and share a plan for the future. Many long-distance couples say the distance made them more deliberate communicators, because they could not rely on simply being in the same room. The biggest risks are drifting without an end date, mismatched expectations about contact, and unresolved insecurity.

What is the most important thing in a long-distance relationship?

A shared end goal. Distance is much easier to bear when you know it is temporary. You do not need an exact date, but you should be able to answer together:

Who might move, where, and roughly when?
What needs to happen first (a degree finishing, a job transfer, a visa, children's school year)?
What are we each willing to give up or change?
How will we know if the plan is slipping, and what then?

Couples without any plan often find that the relationship slowly becomes a series of phone calls with no direction. Having the conversation early, even if the answer is "we will decide in six months," gives both of you something to build toward.

How often should long-distance couples talk?

There is no right amount. Some couples video call every night; others text through the day and have a long call twice a week. The key is agreeing on a rhythm that feels connecting rather than obligatory, and adjusting when life gets busy. A useful structure:

Type of contact	Purpose	Example
Small daily touches	Feeling part of each other's day	A photo of your lunch, a voice note on the walk to work, a good-morning text.
Regular calls	Real conversation and emotional connection	Two or three video calls a week at a set time.
Weekly "date"	Romance and shared experience	Watching a film together, cooking the same recipe, playing an online game.
Monthly check-in	Talking about the relationship itself	"How are we doing? What do we need? Is the plan still on track?"

Time zones complicate things. If you are several hours apart, fix call times that work for both schedules and rotate who stays up late or wakes up early, so the burden is shared.

How do you build trust at a distance?

Trust in any relationship grows from reliability. At a distance, the small things matter even more:

Do what you say. If you say you will call at 8, call at 8, or message beforehand if you cannot.
Share your life proactively. Mention who you are going out with and what you are doing, not as a report but as ordinary sharing.
Introduce each other to your worlds. Video chat with friends and family; join group calls; follow each other's interests.
Talk about insecurity kindly. "I felt a bit anxious when I didn't hear from you last night" invites reassurance. Accusations invite defensiveness.
Avoid surveillance. Demanding passwords or constant location tracking tends to erode trust rather than build it. If you feel the need to monitor, that is worth discussing honestly.

Our guide to red flags and green flags can help you distinguish normal distance anxiety from genuine warning signs.

What are good virtual date ideas?

Shared experiences keep romance alive between visits. Some ideas:

Watch party: start the same film or series at the same time and keep a call open.
Cook together: choose a recipe, shop separately, and cook and eat "together" on video.
Play games: online board games, co-op video games, or trivia apps.
Read together: a two-person book club, or read aloud to each other before sleep.
Walk together: both go for a walk and call each other, showing your surroundings.
Learn something: take the same online class, learn each other's language, or try a beginner course together.
Send surprises: letters, playlists, a care package, or an order from their favorite local takeaway.

For more inspiration that can be adapted to video, see our first date ideas.

How often should long-distance couples visit?

As often as time and budget allow, with the next visit always planned. Knowing when you will next see each other is one of the most powerful ways to reduce distance stress. Tips for visits:

Mix special and ordinary. Adventures are wonderful, but also do laundry, cook dinner and meet friends. You need to know how you live together, not only how you holiday together.
Discuss expectations beforehand: how much time alone versus with friends and family, and any plans each of you has.
Expect the goodbye dip. Many couples feel low or argue near the end of a visit. Naming it helps.
Alternate locations if you can, so both people experience each other's world and share the travel.

How should long-distance couples handle money?

Travel, calls and gifts add up. Unspoken money tension is a common source of resentment. Talk openly about:

How you will split travel costs, perhaps proportionally to income if your incomes differ a lot.
A realistic visit budget, so neither person overextends.
Future costs of closing the distance: moving, visas, a new home, potentially lost income.

What if you met online and haven't met in person?

Many long-distance relationships begin online, and that can be a lovely way to meet someone special. It also carries specific risks, because romance scammers often pose as partners who live far away or abroad. Before investing heavily:

Video call early and regularly. Someone who repeatedly avoids video calls with excuses is a serious warning sign.
Meet in person within a reasonable time, in a public place, with your own accommodation and transport.
Never send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met, for travel costs, emergencies, customs fees or investments.
Watch for inconsistencies in their story, time zone or details.

Read how to spot a romance scam for the full checklist. On Souldaters, you can filter by distance if you prefer people nearby, and nobody can message you until you have both liked each other, which cuts down on unsolicited contact from scammers. Reports go to a human moderator; see the safety page for details.

How do you look after yourself while apart?

A long-distance relationship is healthiest when both people have full lives where they are. Waiting by the phone every evening makes the distance feel heavier and puts too much weight on each call. Instead:

Keep your friendships active. Friends are your everyday support; your partner cannot be your only close connection.
Pursue your own interests. Clubs, classes, sport and volunteering give you things to share on your next call.
Build local community. If you have just moved or your social circle is thin, a friends-first platform can help. Souldaters has a friends mode alongside dating, and tribes such as travelers or expats bring together people in similar situations.
Notice your mood. Loneliness is natural; persistent low mood deserves attention, from friends or a professional.

Having your own life does not threaten the relationship. It makes you a more interesting, more resilient partner, and it makes the eventual move easier because neither of you is relying on the other for everything.

How do you close the distance?

When the time comes to live in the same place, it is a big transition. Some practical points:

Talk about the sacrifice honestly. The person who moves may leave a job, friends and family. Acknowledge that, and plan how they will build a life (work, friends, interests) in the new place so they do not become isolated or dependent.
Consider a trial period, such as an extended stay, before permanently relocating.
Check the legal side if you are moving country: visas, work permits and healthcare can take time.
Expect an adjustment. Couples who closed the distance often say the first months together involve new frictions, such as chores, space and routines. That is normal.

If one of you is moving to a new city, our guide on making friends in a new city can help build a social life quickly, which takes pressure off the relationship.

When should you end a long-distance relationship?

Distance can be worth it, but not indefinitely. Signs it may be time to reconsider:

There is still no plan to close the distance after a long time, and neither of you is willing to move.
Communication has become a duty rather than a pleasure for one or both of you.
Trust issues keep recurring despite honest efforts.
You feel more lonely inside the relationship than you would outside it.
Your life goals have diverged, for example on where to live, children or careers.

Ending a long-distance relationship is painful but can be kind and clear. If possible, talk on a video call rather than by text, and give each other space afterwards.

The bottom line

Distance asks more of a relationship, and gives something back: couples learn to talk, to plan and to choose each other deliberately. With a shared plan, a rhythm of contact that works, regular visits and steady trust, many long-distance relationships become strong, close-distance ones.

Long-Distance Relationships: How to Make Them Work (and When to End One)